Sunday, June 20, 2010

Houdini's 30 good intentions

embarrassing / irksome habits

#1 A cuddle every now and then will not kill me. They will not cuddle me forever and however is my fault because i'm beautiful.

Be brushed to prevent hair balls is a good thing. I will not start running in circles around my human to avoid

I'm a rabbit weighing one kilo. Cut my nails should not take two days, two people and two tranquilizers (for me).

I do not need to jump in the tub while my human is take a bath, and scratch her because I'm wetting myself.

It is nice to have a clean litter. I do not need to grunt, growl and bite my human every time she's cleaning it, until she reaches the point of locking myself in another room

I really have to stop jumping on the couch when unsuspecting humans are sleeping on it.

I will accept the traditional meaning of the word "NO!" without try constantly to redefine it.

I do not break down on side with half-closed eyes imitationing dead rabbit.

I do not wash my genitals in front of guests.

I will not launch on human, grunting and digging with my legs when she trying to get my bowl: she tries to fill it, not steal it.

My philosophy is no longer "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine ONLY"

All things under 30 cm are not mine because I've rubbed my chin.

I will not think up misdeeds seems nice. I will think up assuming the appearance greedy rabbit.

I must remember that I have huge feet with huge claws that can hurt the human skin.

Humans are not very impressed by a rabbit that grunts and growls.

I can not pass through walls, no matter how fast I can get.

Bodily functions

I will not intentionally pee on people I dislike.

I will not scratch the wax from the ears and then lick off the fingers of the big feet. #19 I will not spend the Christmas mounting on my companion in front of all the guests.


#20 Eating the keyboard cable is not the best way to turn off the computer, even if the screensaver bothers me.

I do not need to chew 20 cm below each frame. There are already enough fiber in my diet.

I do not eat more buttons of the remote to the point that humans should use a pencil to press.

The toilet paper is not decorative.

A green cleaner is not a huge celery noisy, so I do not have to chase all over the house my human and celery noisy.

The candles burn me * always * the whiskers: I have not put my nose in every time to check it.


#26 I am a rabbit, and rabbits are herbivores. Then I do not need to steal the ham from sandwiches.

I should be provided with a label "I eat everything I see, except what makes me good."

#28 I will not eat my strawberries so I tinged with red around the nose and look bloody.

Vegetables are not best if I roll it in the litter.

Just because the cat has stayed in my hay, not mean it is ruined.

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